April is C-Section Awareness Month, so I figured it was a perfect time to recap Grace's birth story and my last caesarean section.
During one of my prenatal visits, my OB-GYN told me - with the way the baby was growing - that my due date was changed to February 25th, Owen's birthday. He said the earliest I could schedule my repeat c-section was at 39 weeks and asked if I wanted to book it for the 18th. To be honest with you, I wanted to tell him no. I wanted to wait out the 40 weeks and attempt a VBAC because I knew that it was most likely going to be my last pregnancy and my last chance to experience a vaginal birth. However, I already knew of the complications associated with a VBAC and figured the risks of these complications would be even higher after TWO c-sections.
I felt like I was taking too long to answer my doctor, so I said the 18th was fine. And then he brought up birth control; he asked me if I wanted to have anymore kids. If I didn't, he suggested that I get a tubal removal during my c-section - not a ligation where I got my tubes "tied" - a complete removal of my tubes. No chance of reversal. No more kids.
I stared at him for a while, and he could tell that I was having a hard time wrapping my head around such a thought. He smiled and said, "You don't need to make a decision today; and even if you consented to it, you could change your mind right up to the point when we're about to remove your tubes."
I didn't want to be done having children, but I knew in my heart that was it - it was my last pregnancy, and Grace was going to be my last baby. I signed the consent for both, the repeat c-section and the tubal removal, and went home.
Now, I'm not going to lie - I thought about cancelling the surgery many times, not just for the sterilization but also to try for a vaginal birth. With Owen, I endured labor for 12 hours and ended up having an emergency c-section due to complications. With Henry, I didn't want to relive the same events, so we scheduled a repeat c-section without hesitation. But with Grace, my last baby, it was a tough decision. I wanted to labor. I wanted to push. I cried many nights because I knew it just wasn't meant to be. I didn't want to risk having complications. It wasn't worth it to me, to my husband, or to my children.
I made it to February 18th without any issues or any signs of labor. We checked into the L&D unit at 7am, two hours before my scheduled surgery, and waited...
...and waited and waited and waited...and waited some more. My surgery was bumped, not one, not two, but THREE TIMES. One mother was laboring and having issues, so she needed to have an emergency c-section; and then two women with high-risk pregnancies were transferred from the E.R. and also needed emergency c-sections.
When the nurse told me about the first delay, I was fine. I totally understood because I was that mother when I had Owen 4 years ago. With the second delay, I was slightly upset because I was starving and thirsty (had nothing to eat or drink for 14+ hours at that point), but I was STILL okay. I smiled and said I was aaall good.
At 3:00pm, one of the surgeons came in to tell me about bumping me again, and I was absolutely devastated. I fought back tears as she offered to reschedule me for another day, but there was no way I was leaving the hospital without a baby in my arms. And even if they did reschedule me, there would be no guarantee that this wouldn't happen again. I told her I'd wait. The second she left, tears just ran down my cheeks. Honestly, I could have waited another 10 hours...I really just wanted to eat. Haha!
A couple of hours later, a different nurse came in and gave me the wonderful news that they were preparing the O.R. for...meeee! I was so happy, but I almost didn't believe it. I made a joke to the nurse that I wasn't going to celebrate until I was being cut open. She laughed and told me that all the nurses and doctors felt so bad for me but were very grateful for my patience. I'm not sure why, but that made me feel pretty proud of myself.
A little while later, I was being wheeled into the operating room.
I was actually pretty nervous about the surgery. During my first c-section, I passed out. With the second, I was shivering uncontrollably, and I threw up. I have no idea what they did the third time around because I felt amazing the entire time. Even Ralph commented how "chipper" I was. If having the smoothest c-section was the payoff for delaying my surgery almost 9 hours, I'd say it was worth it.
At 6:21pm, Grace Celeste Herrera was born. The very first thing I asked the doctor was, "Is it still a girl?" She laughed and held Grace over the curtain for me to see her. She looked just like her big brother Owen (still does, actually).
Once she was in my arms, nothing mattered. I wasn't hungry anymore. I wasn't sad that I didn't push her out. I wasn't hesitant about the doctors performing the tubal removal. I was content because I brought three beautiful children into this world.
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| Our first selfie in our room. |
I can't believe it's been 8 weeks since we were in the hospital. It seems just like yesterday we were in that room, getting to know our Gracie girl. I remember cherishing every moment while we were there, the good and the bad, because it was the last time we were ever going to experience it. I already miss it, mesh underwear and all.
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| Grace Celeste Herrera // 2.18.2019 at 6:21pm // 7lbs 7oz // 19.25in |
